Memories
by C. E. Gray
Summary: Femslash. Is Gabrielle's strength enough to break a curse of the God of War? Xena x Gabrielle


**Memories**

**By: C. E. Gray **

**Disclaimer: **Xena, Gabrielle, Argo, Ephiny, and all other characters in this story are, unfortunately, not mine. They belong to Renaissance Pictures and the talented mind of Rob Tapert. The story, however, _is_ mine, so please do not use it without permission from the author: Me!

**Violence Disclaimer:** Not much. Actually, there's almost no head bashing in here…

**Sexual Disclaimer: **This story does involve the idea of two women loving each other (guess who!), although it isn't graphic. However, if the idea bothers you, I suggest you read something in the 'general' listing.

May I suggest my first piece, a General story called 'The Silent Amazon'? (shameless plug) grin 

**Timeline Disclaimer: **I wrote this during the fifth season, but I didn't like what TPTB did in the fourth. So, let's pretend that Xena and Gabrielle never went to India, Gabrielle never threw her staff in the river, and Ephiny never died, okay? Hey, I like it this way!

**Other Disclaimer: **Gabrielle was not harmed during the writing of this fan fiction. However, Xena did get a little bored, what with no one to kill, and all…

Oh, right. You probably want the story, don't you?

Xena ducked as the sword came around again, and decided she was tired of playing. With a swift kick, followed by another, the bandit was out like a light. Turning to see how her friend was faring, Xena smiled when Gabrielle decked one man with her staff, and managed to block a sword thrust just in time. Seeing that Gabrielle had everything under control, the Warrior Princess looked for the merchant who had been attacked, to make sure he was all right. A quick scan found that the man had bolted without so much as a thank-you to his saviors.

Just as Xena turned her back, a large man with a club connected his weapon with the side of Gabrielle's head. She collapsed with a small cry, and the man began to get closer, when he heard a strange whistling sound. The next moment, he lay dead, and the Chakram returned obediently to the warrior's hand.

"Gabrielle!" Xena cried, running to her fallen comrade. Noticing the blood that trickled down the side of Gabrielle's face, Xena's worry increased. Whistling once, her faithful mare approached at a trot from the safety of the woods, and Xena retrieved her medical supplies.

As she cleaned the wound, Xena was surprised, and pleased, to see that it wouldn't require stitches. After seeing the size of the club, she had been troubled, but it seemed likely that the cut would only bruise.

"Hey," said Xena, softly, "can you hear me?" Gently cupping the bard's face, Xena was disappointed when she got no response. "Come on," she said, gathering her friend into her arms, "let's get you to camp."

Searching quickly, Xena found a campsite that would work, and laid her still unconscious friend on the ground, as carefully as she could. The warrior double checked the wound, and then started a small fire, as it was almost dusk. Laying out the bread, cheese, and fruit, she fretted about leaving to fill the water skins. Finally, deciding that Gabrielle would be all right for the few minutes she would be gone, Xena hurried down to the lake, empty water skins in hand.

When she returned, Xena was surprised to see Gabrielle awake. Not only was she awake, she was preparing dinner! The girl was cutting the bread, and a sliced apple lay in front of her, the cheese block still whole.

"You shouldn't be doing that," said Xena, worried about her friend's health. After recently taking a hard blow to the head, she didn't want her to do too much too soon. Even if it was just making dinner, Xena preferred Gabrielle to relax, and get some rest.

"Sorry," mumbled the bard, immediately dropping the knife, and rising to her feet. She took a few steps back, and stood with her head down.

"I didn't mean it like that," said Xena, approaching Gabrielle. "I'm just not sure you should be up and around quite yet." Gabrielle said nothing, so Xena asked, as she set the full water skins down, "How's your head?"

The woman brought her hand up to touch the bump on her head, as if only then realizing she had been injured. "I'm fine," she replied, tonelessly.

"You sure?" asked Xena. At a nod from the bard, she sighed, "All right. Ready for dinner?" She decided to let the bard eat first, and she would take whatever small amount was left, knowing the bard's almost legendary appetite. Xena wanted to give her friend the chance to heal, and sleeping on a full stomach would help.

"I'm not hungry," said Gabrielle, causing Xena's worry to shift into alarm. She was about to protest, but the look on Gabrielle's face told her the girl wouldn't budge. The warrior sat near the fire, taking a piece of bread and cheese, and munched thoughtfully.

Gabrielle moved to sit down on her bedroll, and it was then Xena noticed how the girl had placed the blankets. Instead of lying side by side, as the warrior had become accustomed to, Gabrielle had put them on opposite sides of the fire. Although confused, and a little hurt, by the move, Xena decided not to push the issue.

The bard sat up the entire time Xena ate, and sharpened her sword, stifling yawn after yawn and struggling to keep her eyes open. Xena stopped trying to figure out what the bard was doing, and said, "You should get some sleep." When Gabrielle gratefully laid down on her bedroll, Xena offered, "Good night."

"Good night," replied Gabrielle, her back already to the concerned warrior. After her sword was toned and polished, Xena did a quick perimeter check, gave up shedding any light on Gabrielle's behavior that night, and laid on her own bedroll. Despite the warm night, Xena shivered at the strange, cold, lonely feeling she experienced. The Warrior Princess fell into a dreamless sleep.

The next morning, Xena awoke to the smell of breakfast, and the sound of someone in the campsite. Moving her hand to touch her sword reassuringly, Xena opened one eye, and welcomed two sights. The first was the light of dawn, and the second was Gabrielle.

"How long have you been up?" she asked her friend, sitting up.

"A while," was the surprising response. "I made breakfast," she said, handing a bowl of porridge to the warrior.

Xena took a bite, and then a few more, before noticing that hers was the only meal. "Aren't you going to eat?" asked Xena, pausing to speak around a mouthful of warm cereal.

"I've already eaten," said Gabrielle, standing a few feet away from Xena.

"Since when do you get up before dawn?" questioned Xena. _… before me,_ her mind added. Gabrielle shrugged, and moved to roll up the blankets. Xena stopped her by putting out her hand, and the girl halted immediately, standing quickly.

"Do you feel all right?" Xena asked, lightly, expecting at least a smile.

Xena was rewarded with a flat, "I'm fine."

The warrior was quite concerned about the bard's lack of enthusiasm, as well as her uncharacteristic silence. "I never thought I'd say this," she joked, "but tell me a story."

Gabrielle looked a little flustered, before launching into the tale of the man who traveled the world looking for his family. When he returned, he found himself at the beginning, because he had carried his family with him all along. He had never truly been alone.

Xena grinned at the end of the story. "Finally," she smirked, "a story that's not about me."

Now the bard looked confused. "There are stories about you?" she asked, innocently, and Xena smiled, suspecting a joke.

"Of course, Gabrielle," said the warrior, a bit sarcastically. Her smile faded when Gabrielle's blank look did not disappear. "Don't you know any stories about me?" asked Xena, cautiously.

Gabrielle shook her head, and looked down. "I'm afraid I'm not much for entertainment," she said, softly.

Xena frowned. "What! Entertainment? What are you talking about? Gabrielle," she said, her heart pounding in her chest, fearing the worst, "do you know who I am?"

To Xena's great relief, Gabrielle nodded. "You're my mistress," she said, in all honesty.

Xena's mouth went dry, and for a moment, she couldn't speak. When at last, she was able to form coherent words, she asked, "Do you remember Callisto?"

The bard's face remained expressionless, so Xena tried again. "Ephiny?" she asked.

"Who?" wondered Gabrielle, confused. "Should I know them?"

"What about Draco?" asked Xena, ignoring her friend's question for the time.

"You saved me from becoming his slave," said Gabrielle, and Xena nodded. "Since I'm not with my sister, then I must be _your_ slave. Although I don't recall these clothes…" she trailed off.

"My _slave_!" exclaimed Xena, shocked. "Gabrielle, you are _not_ my slave!"

"Then what am I doing out here with you?" asked Gabrielle, suddenly wary.

"You're with me because you choose to be," replied Xena. "We're best friends."

"Friends?" repeated Gabrielle, as if finding it hard to believe that a farm girl would befriend a warrior. "So I don't serve you? Or Draco?"

"You serve no one," said Xena, forcefully. "What's the last thing you remember?"

"Draco," said Gabrielle. "I tried to get him to take me, and let my friends go, but he wouldn't do it. Then, the next thing I know, there's this woman - you. You stopped him from hurting us, but that's all I know. It's kind of fuzzy after that," she said, and Xena's heart dropped.

"That's all you remember? You don't know anything about the past four years?" asked Xena, and Gabrielle frowned.

"Four years?" she asked, a little fearful. Were there four years of her life that she couldn't remember? And if so, why had it all been suddenly… erased?

"That blow to the head must have done more damage than I thought," Xena mused. "Does your head hurt?"

Gabrielle nodded. "A little," she admitted. "But don't trouble yourself with it," she said, when Xena made a move to examine the wound, "I'm all right."

"Gabrielle, I'm your friend. I just want to make sure you're okay. Please," added Xena, and Gabrielle nodded.

"You _can't _be my mistress," said Gabrielle. "You wouldn't care about me like this, would you?" Xena just shook her head, while she peered intently at the swollen bruise on her friend's forehead. "But, it's so much more… familiar to me to be your slave, than your friend. That's all I can think of, and it seems right for me to serve you."

Xena sighed. "If that's what your comfortable with, than I guess I can handle that. Until you get your memory back," she conceded. Thoughts of her time in the Temple of the Fates ran through her mind, when she had met the _real_ slave Gabrielle. Shaking the thoughts for the time being, Xena focused her attention on Gabrielle, who was waiting patiently for an order.

"I guess we can pack up," said Xena, and Gabrielle sprang into action. In a matter of minutes, she had both bedrolls packed, the dishes cleaned and packed, and even extinguished the fire. Xena shook her head as she mounted Argo; this would take some getting used to.

"Don't forget your staff," she said, and Gabrielle retrieved the weapon from its place against a tree.

"This is mine?" asked the bard, and Xena nodded. The warrior considered offering her hand to hoist Gabrielle atop the Palomino mare, but thought better of it. If the girl really felt better being a slave, it would make her uncomfortable to ride so close to her 'mistress'.

After a few minutes of silence, Xena said, "We should be in Amazon Territory by tomorrow."

Gabrielle nodded, but said nothing. Xena thought quickly, back to a time when she had been around slavers and their slaves, and remembered that a slave was not supposed to speak unless spoken to. That would be hard on both of them.

_Well,_ thought Xena, _at least it'll be hard on me. I'm so used to her voice, this silence… _frightens _me._

"Gabrielle," she said, in her most even and serious tone, "it's all right for you to talk to me, and to ask me questions. I don't mind."

"Why are we going to the Amazons?" Gabrielle ventured slowly, after a long moment of silence, unsure of her sudden privilege.

"They're friends," said Xena. "We've known them for a long time, and I think they'll want to see you." The warrior chose not to tell the bard she was also Queen of the Amazons, because if Gabrielle didn't have the memory of it, chances were it would mean nothing to her.

_Besides, _Xena thought to herself, _if she suddenly finds out she's Queen, she won't know how to act, and what am I supposed to tell her? I can't teach her how to rule the Amazons…_

"Even if I can't remember them?" asked Gabrielle, puzzled.

"Maybe being around familiar faces will help you regain your memory," said Xena, hopefully.

"But, if you're familiar to me, why can't I -?" Gabrielle's inquiry was cut short, and Xena looked back, wondering what had happened. What she saw caused her to leap off her horse and run to her friend's side.

Gabrielle had collapsed to her knees, dropped her staff, and was holding her head in her hands, in obvious pain. Xena heard her quiet moans of torment, and put a hand on her shoulder.

_Flash…_

_Pain… oh, it hurts! Xena? Where's Xena? Oh, thank the Gods. At least she's all right. It's getting worse…_

_Flash…_

'Don't leave me! Don't you leave me!' _Xena? Is that you? I can hear you! Leave you? I wouldn't even consider it! I'm coming back… A breath… Beautiful blue eyes, tear-marked face, strong arms… Xena! Oh, Xena it's good to be back. It hurts, but I'm so glad you're okay! I missed you!_

"Gabrielle?" she asked, "Gabrielle, what's wrong?" The fact that Xena didn't know how to ease the hurt her friend was feeling terrified the warrior. _She_ was supposed to be the strong one, the one who got hurt, not Gabrielle. Gabrielle was the gentle one, the one who everyone loved…

Then, just as soon as it had begun, it was over, and Gabrielle raised her head. "You cried over me?" she asked, and Xena was taken aback.

"What?" she asked, surprised by the sudden recovery. "What do you remember?"

"I was in a temple… and I remember looking up and seeing a woman - you. You were crying, and holding me," said Gabrielle, looking quizzically at the warrior, who had tears in her eyes from her own memory.

"We were in the middle of a war, and you had gone out in the middle of it to try and help an injured man find his missing son," said Xena. "I was tending to the wounded when… when they brought you in. You had defended yourself, and managed not to kill your attacker, but you were still severely hurt," here, Xena got a little choked up, but continued for the sake of her friend's memory. "I sewed your wounds as best I could, and you called for Ephiny."

At the look of confusion on Gabrielle's face, Xena explained, "Your friend, and Amazon sister. You tried to give her your Right of Caste, a right passed on by Amazons at their death," she elaborated, "but she wouldn't accept it, and neither of us would have you think like that. Later, I was helping another victim, when you started thrashing around. I rushed over, and held you down. You… you stopped moving and just… died," said Xena, and this time it took a while longer for her to regain her voice. The image of Gabrielle's death was fresh again in her mind, and it hurt just as much.

"Gods, you scared me," admitted Xena. "I thought I'd lost you. So did everyone else. I wouldn't listen, and I kept trying to get you to come back, telling you not to leave me. Somehow, and I don't know how, but I'm thankful, you came back. I was so happy, I just held you to make sure it was real, and that you were okay. That's it," finished Xena, swallowing her sadness as best she could.

"I remember… I remember feeling sad that I had gone, but then when I came back, I was so happy that I was with you," said Gabrielle. "And I was surprised to see you crying. When I realized it was over me, I felt kind of bad about it, but you seemed so happy to see me, that I figured they were tears of joy," she said, as if reciting a story that had happened to someone else.

"Will you be all right, now?" asked Xena, realizing they were still sitting in the middle of the road.

"Yeah," said Gabrielle, waiting until Xena stood to get to her feet. "Sorry I startled you."

"Let's get going," said Xena, walking with Gabrielle instead of mounting her horse. She wanted to be next to her friend if another episode occurred.

"Mistress," said Gabrielle, getting the warrior's attention, "what happens if I _never _get my memory back?"

"It'll take some time, Gabrielle," said Xena, patiently. "Don't worry."

"But what if I don't remember anything?" she asked, her voice cracking, but she kept her composure and did not cry.

"You will," insisted Xena. "And, in the chance you don't," she continued, sensing the bard wouldn't let it drop, "you'll have to start a new life." Xena almost had to choke back a sob, when she realized, for the first time, that if Gabrielle did not regain her memory, the chances were good that the warrior would be traveling alone.

"Where?" asked Gabrielle, unsure of everything at this point.

"Wherever you decide to stay," replied Xena. She was about to suggest that she stay at the Amazons, so Xena could keep in touch, but then she realized that was selfish of her. She had to let Gabrielle make that choice on her own, if the worst case scenario proved to be true, and Gabrielle had no memory of her travels with Xena.

Gabrielle seemed to accept that for a moment, and was quiet. "Will you go with me?" she asked, suddenly.

Xena looked down for a second, trying to figure out how to answer, when Gabrielle continued. "I'm sorry if I'm bothering you with all these questions," she said, and fell silent again, walking with her head down.

"It's not that," said Xena. "Let's just worry about getting your memories back, okay?" Gabrielle nodded, but remained expressionless. "You hungry?" Xena asked, after a long period of silence.

Gabrielle nodded again, a little hesitantly, but still said nothing. Finally, she voiced, "You should eat before me."

Xena just looked at her, surprised. "Why?" she asked. It was unusual for the bard to pass up food, much less _offer_ to wait.

"It is not fitting that I eat before or with you," she replied.

Xena sighed. She was on that mistress-slave kick again. However, if that was what she felt most comfortable with, and apparently it was… "All right," sighed Xena. "You can eat whatever is left over."

Letting Argo graze for a while, Xena found a shady spot under a tree, and decided that was where she would rest. Leaning against the trunk, she unwrapped the bread and cheese, and ate a few pieces. Not very hungry after the delicious breakfast Gabrielle had cooked, she finished quickly, and handed the rest to Gabrielle, who also ate little.

When Xena handed her the water skin, however, the girl gulped thirstily. Xena was wrapping the food back into the cloth, when Gabrielle suddenly dropped the water skin, some of the liquid splashing out and soaking into the earth.

Xena was by her side in an instant, wrapping an arm around the woman, who was holding her head in pain, again. "It's okay," she soothed, and tried to ease the pain by letting Gabrielle know she was there. "I'm here, Gabrielle. It's all going to be all right," she whispered, and just held her friend tightly.

_Flash…_

_A tall warrior, shouting at soldiers. Xena, what are you doing? _Kill_ them? No, I won't let you! Gods help me, Xena, I'm sorry! _Thwack! _Please don't do this…_

_Flash…_

_The floor. Oh, the floor feels nice. Xena? Oh, hello. Me? I'm fine. Can't see, but I'm good. Both eyes? Hey, that's a good idea! It works, too. Wait, you mean, I'm not standing! Okay, standing… I can do that… Whoa! Gods, Xena, _you are beautiful!_ Oops, back on the floor again. Such a nice dirt floor in this cave…_

_Flash…_

_All of you, this side of the cave! No, sopranos on this side, altos over here! Come on, let's move! I've got all day to do this! What? You say I have to find Xena? Okay, I've got to go. The rest of you, stay here! Boy, I think he's sick… sounded a little gravely…_

This time, the torment did not stop abruptly, it slowly ebbed, until it was completely gone. "What did you see this time?" asked Xena, her arms still around the girl's shoulders.

"I tried to kill you," said Gabrielle, and Xena looked at her strangely.

"What?" she asked, unsure of what Gabrielle was talking about.

"You were standing in front of a bunch of people, and I hit you with a pitchfork. Hard enough to break it," she said. "I'm sorry," she apologized, and looked down at her hands.

"Gabrielle, before you apologize, let me explain," said Xena, with a small smile on her face. "You weren't trying to kill me. You were stopping me from doing something very stupid, and that was the only way to bring me back to my self," she said, and Gabrielle looked up at her, tears in her eyes.

"I don't want to hurt you," she said, innocently.

"I know," said Xena. "And you didn't. Is that all you remember?" Xena figured the more Gabrielle talked about it, the more she would remember, the quicker she would remember.

"I also saw you standing over me again…" she said, and paused, trying to recall what she had seen. "We were in a cave, and you were talking to me. I remember that I felt… good, but it was a strange good. I talked to rocks?" she wondered, looking to Xena for help.

Xena couldn't help but chuckle at the reminder of Gabrielle high on henbane. "Yes, you spoke to rocks. And people who weren't there," she said, confusing Gabrielle even more. "You ate some nut-bread that had been laced with henbane. It wore off a while later, but, I've got to admit, you were rather ridiculous," smirked Xena.

"Your name is Xena," she stated, and Xena nodded.

"Yes," she responded. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier."

Gabrielle shrugged. "No matter," she said. "I'll call you mistress anyhow. Oh! I'm sorry, mistress!" she exclaimed, and hurried to pick up the nearly empty water skin. "I'll fill it back up immediately."

Xena, knowing it was no use to try and stop the girl, let her go, and finished packing the leftover lunch. As she whistled for Argo, the warrior began thinking over the memories that Gabrielle had recovered. So far, Xena had been lucky, and the memories were good. But how long would it be before Gabrielle remembered the bad? And just what would come to her mind first?

Gabrielle returned shortly, and handed the water skin to Xena, with her head down. After Xena packed the water skin, Gabrielle started walking, making sure she was not beside the warrior, but a little behind.

"Gabrielle," said Xena, and the girl looked up.

"Yes?" she asked, ready to fulfill what was asked of her.

"Would you like to stop at the next town? I hear there's lots of shopping to be done," she offered, and Gabrielle looked down again.

"If it would please you," she replied.

Xena stopped walking, which caused Gabrielle to do the same, and lifted the bard's chin. "That's not what I asked," she said, gently. "I asked if _you_ would like to go."

"Yes," she replied, softly, as if afraid of offending the warrior, "I would like that very much."

"Good," said Xena. "We should be there in just a little while." Gabrielle nodded, and was silent, but the small smile she was unable to hide made the warrior's heart flutter. Perhaps her Gabrielle would indeed come back to her.

They arrived in the small town, which was bustling with activity, just after noon. Stabling Argo for the day, Xena resigned herself to shopping with the bard, who was known to drive a hard bargain.

"You can look around for a bit," Xena told Gabrielle, with a hand on her shoulder. "I'm going to go talk with the blacksmith. Will you be all right?" she asked, and received a nod. "Okay. I'll meet you after a while," she said, and left the girl to mingle around the merchant's carts as she pleased.

Gabrielle, unsure of what to do without her mistress, wandered around until a fragrance caught her attention. Walking over to the booth, she picked up a piece of blue cloth, which had a rich scent to it. Bringing it to her nose, she inhaled deeply, and almost remembered…

"What did you find?" asked Xena, coming up behind the girl, and startling her from her thoughts.

"Nothing," said Gabrielle, dropping the cloth and moving a few paces back, lowering her head, as though found guilty of some petty crime. "It's nothing," she repeated.

"What about that cloth?" she asked, and Gabrielle shook her head.

"I don't need it," she replied. "I was just looking. You needn't spend your money on me," she said.

The merchant watched the scene with interest. He had noticed the woman as soon as she approached his cart, and when he thought she was considering buying something, he paid closer attention. Now, if she was a slave, maybe he could buy her. There wasn't a man in town who wouldn't be jealous!

"Hey, miss," he called to her apparent owner, "I've got a deal for you. I'll give you twenty dinars for that slave you got there." The woman raised an eyebrow in his direction. He took that as a sign of interest. "All right, twenty-two. For a piece of scrap girl like that," he started, but never finished his sentence, as his throat was suddenly crushed.

"You listen here," the warrior woman hissed into his ear. Somehow, she had closed the distance between her and the cart, reached over the counter and grabbed his neck, all in the blink of an eye. "She's not my slave, and even if she was, she'd be worth more than you could imagine! If you ever insult her like that again, I'll personally rip your scum-sucking heart out through your nose. Got it?" she growled, and the merchant nodded, feebly.

Releasing him, Xena looked at the struggling man, and ordered, "I want that blue cloth." Nodding, the merchant handed it to her, taking his intact heart as payment. The two left, and the merchant let out a breath he had been holding ever since the woman arrived.

Handing the cloth to Gabrielle, Xena smiled when the girl let the corners of her mouth turn up. She may not have been smiling, but Xena's heart soared at the sparkle of delight she saw in her eyes.

"Thank you," said Gabrielle, graciously. "You defended me," she said.

Xena nodded. "You may think of yourself as my slave, Gabrielle," said Xena, "but you'll always be my best friend. I won't allow anyone to hurt you."

Gabrielle, uncomfortable, shifted the topic away from herself and said, "Did you find what you needed at the blacksmith?"

Xena shook her head. "No, but that's all right. I'll get it somewhere else," she said. Actually, Xena had not gone to the blacksmith. She had gone in that general direction, but made a detour to a merchant who was selling parchment. The warrior had purchased two scrolls and a quill for Gabrielle, stored them in the saddlebag, and then found the bard. Xena hoped Gabrielle would remember her love for writing.

"Would you like to stay here a while longer, or go towards the Amazons?" asked Xena, giving her friend the choice.

"I suppose it would be best if we kept moving," she said, and Xena nodded.

"All right, then," she said. "I'll get Argo ready."

"May I go with you?" asked Gabrielle, shyly.

"Sure," said Xena, and led the girl to the stables. After saddling Argo, Xena led the horse out by the reins, but still didn't mount. Until Gabrielle felt comfortable enough to ride with her, Xena wouldn't ride the horse. She wanted to be close to her friend.

"Mistress?" asked Gabrielle, and Xena turned towards the girl, a raised eyebrow encouraging her to continue. "I'm sorry," she said, "I won't bother you." Her head dropped, and she was silent, as she distanced herself a few more paces behind the warrior.

"No, what is it?" asked Xena. "What were you going to say?"

"I was just thinking, that's all," said Gabrielle, shaking her head slightly.

"About what?" asked Xena, softly.

"About that name you said before. Callisto. Who is that?" asked Gabrielle, taking a step closer to Xena.

Xena winced. She didn't want to have to delve into all the horrible and painful details, especially when it probably wouldn't mean anything to the girl. "Callisto is an evil woman," explained Xena, lamely. "She hurt many people."

"Oh," was Gabrielle's only response. She said nothing more until Xena announced they were stopping for the night. It was near dusk, and the warrior didn't feel like traveling in the dark, unless they were both riding Argo.

"I will make dinner," she said, and started unpacking the remaining bread and cheese.

"I'll catch a rabbit," said Xena, stopping the girl. "I'll be back as soon as I can, and then you can cook it for me, all right?" Gabrielle nodded, satisfied that she would be able to do something for her mistress.

Xena went off into the woods, leaving Gabrielle alone. The girl looked around for a moment, before deciding that Xena would probably be pleased if the camp was set up when she returned. Unsaddling Argo, she gave the horse an apple, and then started the fire.

When the fire was going strong, she unpacked the bedrolls, and laid them on opposite sides of the fire. Then, placing the water skins and the bread next to the warrior's bed, she stepped back to inspect the campsite, and ran right into Xena.

"Oh!" she exclaimed, and immediately turned. Seeing who it was she had bumped in to, Gabrielle dropped to her knees, ashamed. "I'm sorry, mistress. It was my fault, and it won't happen again. I am clumsy, and -" she started, but Xena cut her off.

"Don't worry about it, Gabrielle," said Xena, gesturing for the girl to stand. "I got dinner," she said, changing the subject, and holding up a large rabbit for Gabrielle to see. The girl took the animal from the warrior's hands, and started preparing it for them to eat.

Xena shook her head lightly as she sat down to sharpen her sword. It wasn't necessary, as she hadn't had to use it, but it was something to keep her occupied. Xena never was one to let her body be idle, nor her mind.

_Maybe I should have told her the truth about Callisto,_ she thought, as her hands performed the automatic task of moving the whetstone across her blade. _Yeah, and risk her having another episode?_ she argued with herself. As much as Xena wanted Gabrielle to remember, she also hated to see her friend in pain.

"It's ready," a quiet voice interrupted her thoughts.

"Thanks," said Xena, sheathing her sword in her scabbard before setting it aside to eat. Gabrielle handed her the cooked rabbit on a plate, and left a small amount for herself. "You can eat with me, you know," hinted Xena. "I don't mind."

Gabrielle said nothing as she nibbled on her portion of the meat. When she was finished, she set her plate aside, and fiddled with the blue cloth she held in her lap.

"I see you like that cloth," commented Xena, finishing the last of the rabbit.

"Very much," replied Gabrielle.

"I'm glad," said Xena, and she meant it. "Dinner was good," she complimented, and Gabrielle took her plate.

"I left the bread and cheese for you," said the girl, gesturing to Xena's bedroll. With the plates in hand, she stood, and began walking towards the saddlebags, where she would repack the dishes.

Xena looked up quickly when she heard the wooden plates clatter as they hit the ground, having slipped from Gabrielle's hands. "Gabrielle?" she questioned, and was answered with a pitiful moan. Jumping to her feet, Xena rushed to Gabrielle's side, as the girl tried in vain to stop the pain in her head.

_Flash…_

_The sound of waves makes you draw your sword? Sometimes, you're just too much, Xena. Oh, a fight! Well, okay then. You choose _now_ of all times to stop and smell the flowers? I don't believe this! Uh, Xena… More men! By all means, let's help him!_

_Flash…_

_Falling in love with her? Easy to do, isn't it? Hate to break it to you, but Xena doesn't want to settle down, or… what? Oh, Gods, they're kissing! Xena, we're taking him home. How can you encourage this? But, if it makes you happy, then I'll be happy for you…_

Gabrielle moans quieted as the pain slowly subsided. When it was over, she looked up to find anxious blue eyes searching her face.

"Are you all right?" asked Xena, concerned.

"He said he loved you," she stated, emotionless.

"What!" exclaimed Xena. "Who?"

"Some man. I was talking to you about relaxing, I think. I was a little angry because you weren't taking me seriously. Then, there was a man fighting some pirates or something. You just sat down on the bank, and didn't help him until the last possible minute.

"After that, I was lying in a hammock. It must have been a ship," she mused, and continued, "because I felt the waves under the boat. Anyhow, he was talking to you, and told you he loved you. Then, you kissed," she ended.

Xena sighed. Gabrielle was discussing the event with Ulysses. She and Ulysses had had a fleeting romance, before his wife reappeared, and she forcibly brushed him off, convincing him to go back home with her for good. Now, the problem was, how to explain it.

"Yes, he told me he was falling in love with me," confirmed Xena. "But I didn't love him. I made sure he was together with his wife, and then it was over. As for the kiss, that was more his idea. I just didn't want to cause him too much pain, so I didn't say anything for a while," she said, purposely making it seem less important than Gabrielle assumed it to be. It was nothing Gabrielle needed to worry about, and something Xena worried about no longer.

"When Penelope, his wife, was found to be alive and well, I insisted that he stay in Ithaca with her. We left without him, after he reclaimed his crown as King," she finished, and was silent for a moment. "I didn't know you were awake in the hammock," she admitted, softly. "I was hoping you had been able to get to sleep, since your stomach had been bothering you."

"You… you worried about my feelings?" Gabrielle said, surprised.

"Of course," said Xena. "I'll always worry about you, Gabrielle. Now, how about we get some rest, okay? Do you feel all right?" she asked, and Gabrielle nodded.

"Good night," she said, retreating to her bedroll.

"'Night," replied Xena, reluctantly lying down on her own bedroll, which was almost on the opposite side of the campsite from the bard's.

The next morning, Xena awoke, and smiled at the soft snore she heard. That meant Gabrielle was still asleep, getting some, in Xena's opinion, much needed rest. The warrior took the opportunity to fix breakfast for them both.

As she took the meat off the fire, Xena turned to face the bard, who was still sleeping soundly.

"Gabrielle," she whispered. "Gabrielle, time to get up."

One green eye appeared, followed by another. "Mistress?" she mumbled. "I'm sorry I slept in. I'll have breakfast ready in a moment," she said, and sat up.

"No need," said Xena, handing the girl a plate.

"You fixed this?" questioned Gabrielle, looking at Xena strangely.

"Well," said Xena, "it may not be as good as yours, but -"

"No, I mean, you fixed this for me?" Gabrielle repeated, interrupting Xena.

"Yes," Xena said, drawing out the word uncertainly. "Why?"

"Thank you," she said, happily, and proceeded to devour the meat. Xena was glad to see the woman's appetite appeared to be back. At least, for squirrel.

When the bard was finished eating, Xena said, "We should be in Amazon Territory in just a few hours, if we hurry." Gabrielle nodded, and packed their things. With the campsite clean, the two set out towards the Amazon borders.

Amazon Territory was only an hour away when Gabrielle, suddenly and without warning, dropped to her knees, clutching her head. Xena was by her side in an instant, beginning to wonder how many times Gabrielle would have to put up with the torment before she fully regained her memory.

_Flash…_

'You stupid, conniving, four-foot daughter of a… mare!' _Stupid horse! I'll bet she planned that. Oh, well better go catch up with Xena._

_Flash…_

_Salmoneus, I don't have time for this! Just let me talk with Xena! What? Why don't I like that look? Oh, no… Oh, Gods, no… It can't be, not Xena. I'll just pull the cover back, it won't be her, it'll all be some joke, and… Oh, Xena! You taught me the Greater Good, but that's not possible without you! I know, you told me to be strong. And I'll try, Xena, I'll try not to disappoint you._

_Flash…_

On a whim, Xena moved Gabrielle's hands, and began massaging her temples. It was a calming pressure point, she knew, and one she often used for headaches. Xena hoped it would help her friend. She didn't know she was interrupting the girl's next memory.

Gabrielle's eyes opened, and slowly cleared, as she looked up at Xena. "You died," she said, shakily.

Xena frowned for a moment, wondering which time Gabrielle remembered. "Yes," she said. "What did you see?" she asked, needing more information so she didn't explain the poison dart when Gabrielle had remembered the log trap.

"I remember someone named Salmoneus," she said.

_Oh,_ thought Xena, _she remembered the poison dart incident._

Gabrielle continued talking. "I was trying to talk to you, I think I was wearing your armor," she added. "He got this look on his face, and I just knew you were dead, but I kept telling myself, if I just pulled back the blanket, it would all be some kind of joke; and you would be all right. I uncovered the body, and it was you. I told myself I would try not to disappoint you, but I know I was very sad," Gabrielle said.

Xena flinched. She knew her death had been hard on the girl, but Gabrielle had never talked about it much. These feelings that Gabrielle was telling her, she was saying them because she didn't know that the warrior didn't know.

"I was hit with a poison dart," said Xena, purposely leaving out that it had been Callisto's doing, "and got very ill. We were trying to help Salmoneus, an old friend, and the village people he was staying with. Since I was too sick, you had to dress up as me, and scare the raiders. When you came back, I had died," said Xena, not failing to notice the tears that had built up in her friend's eyes.

"Talmadeus, the warlord, had taken my body to his camp. You went to get it back, because my last wish had been that I wanted to be buried next to my brother, Lyceus. You were determined to take me home," said Xena, smiling fondly. "I had let the poison take me under, so I could save the strength to fight it. I came back, and we stopped Talmadeus," she finished.

"I… I missed you," stuttered the girl, tears falling slowly.

"I missed you, too," assured the warrior, putting an arm around her friend. "That's another reason I came back. I missed your cooking," said Xena, lightly, not sure if the girl was up to joking right now; if she knew to take it as a joke. But, it got a smile out of Gabrielle, and Xena was glad. "We'd better keep moving," Xena said, then quickly added, "if you're all right."

"I'm fine," said Gabrielle, getting to her feet only after Xena had done the same. Xena took Argo's reins again, smiling as the horse whinnied softly, and continued on the road towards Amazon Territory.

It was obvious to any traveler when they entered Amazon Territory, because the road was suddenly surrounded by trees. One of the Amazons' best skills was climbing and hiding among the trees, so they made sure there were plenty.

Raising her hands above her head in the Amazon gesture of peace, Xena nudged Gabrielle to do the same. In an instant, at least half dozen Amazons dropped from the trees in front of the two, and kneeled, murmuring, "Your Majesty."

Gabrielle, assuming since she was a mere slave that the Amazons must have been bowing to their Queen, Xena, quickly dropped to her own knees in front of the warrior. Xena, not liking the harsh looks several Amazons were giving her, said firmly, "Gabrielle, get up." The girl did so immediately. So quickly, that the other Amazons rose, but kept a wary eye on the Warrior Princess.

One of the Amazons stepped forward, and removed her mask, revealing Ephiny, the Queen's friend and Regent. "Gabrielle," she said, warmly. "Xena," she acknowledged.

Xena nodded in response. "Ephiny," she said, evenly, knowing why she was getting the curt attitude from the Amazon.

"We will escort you to the borders," said the Regent, and the other Amazons took their places guarding their Queen, Gabrielle.

Xena leaned over, and whispered to Gabrielle, who was still walking a few paces behind the warrior, "Gabrielle, you're their Queen. They were bowing to you."

Gabrielle looked at her in disbelief. "Me!" she said, but was careful to keep her voice low.

"Yes," said Xena, "you." She was about to say more, when Ephiny approached them.

"Gabrielle, would you walk up front with me for a while?" she asked. Gabrielle stole a glance at Xena, who nodded her permission, and the bard walked with Ephiny to the front, keeping a few steps behind the woman. Xena had hoped she would get a chance to talk with Ephiny about what was going on before something happened, but already knew it was too late.

Taking a glance back to Xena, who was now mounting her horse, Ephiny whispered, "What's going on?"

Gabrielle looked at her, confused. "What do you mean?"

"With Xena!" she hissed. "What's all this bowing business? Why did you bow to her?"

"Oh, you mean my mistress," stated Gabrielle, in all honesty.

"Mistress!" exclaimed Ephiny, outraged. For the first time, she noticed the bruise on Gabrielle's head, which was no longer swollen, but still held an angry shade of purple. "Did she do that to you?" she demanded. "I swear, Gabrielle, if she hurt you, I'll kill her!"

"No!" said Gabrielle, quickly. "She'd never hurt me," she insisted.

"Oh? Then how'd you get that nasty looking bruise on your head?" countered Ephiny.

Gabrielle was silent for a moment. "I don't know. You'll have to ask Xena," she said, truthfully, knowing that Xena was her only 'memory' for things she could not remember.

"Ha! You see?" she scoffed, and then stormed off towards the Warrior Princess. Gabrielle stood there, unsure of what to do, and then walked back to Xena, with her head down, afraid she had done something wrong. After all, she had made an Amazon angry with her mistress. Perhaps she had said something wrong…

"What in Tartarus did you do to her!" demanded Ephiny, hands on her hips, glaring up at the warrior. "And before you answer, get down from your damn horse!"

Xena complied, and dismounted, coming to stand in front of the angry Regent. "I would never hurt Gabrielle," she stated.

Ephiny snorted. "Then how'd she get that knock on her head? Certainly not from you 'not hurting her'!" she said, and Xena's temper flared.

"No!" she shouted. "We were in a fight and she was injured, that's how!" The warrior was using her height to her advantage, towering over the blond Amazon.

Ephiny glared right back at her, standing on her tip-toes in attempt to look the tall warrior in the eye. "What's all this 'mistress' crap!" she asked, still angry, although a little suspicious that Xena said she had not been the one to hurt her Queen - should she believe her?

Gabrielle chose that moment to speak up from beside the warrior. "I'm her slave," she said, simply.

Ephiny looked from Xena, to the submissive Gabrielle, and back to Xena again. Her eyes narrowing, she drew back her hand, and slapped the warrior full across the face. "You filthy, worthless," she began, but was cut off by Xena.

"Stop," she said. "Stop right there. Ephiny, you don't understand," but Xena's explanation was interrupted.

"Oh, I understand all right!" said Ephiny, seething. "I understand that you have our Queen as your slave, though I don't know how you did it. What other _services _does she perform for you?" she sneered, knowing she was being extremely crude, but not stopping. "You were a warlord, once, Xena. Have you had slaves like her before?"

"Shut up, damn you!" screamed Xena. "You **don't** understand! When Gabrielle was hurt in that fight, when she was hit on the head, she lost her memory. She doesn't remember anything that happened after I rescued her from Draco four years ago. Nothing!" Xena emphasized.

"The good times, the bad, she knows nothing of them! She thinks she's my slave. I go along with it because it's what _she_ feels the most comfortable with. I don't like this anymore than you do. Damn it, it's tearing me apart!" she said. Xena stopped, and raked her hands through her hair before swinging her leg over her horse, and taking off at a fast gallop towards the Amazon village.

Ephiny let her go, and she and Gabrielle watched her leave. Gabrielle stood there, not knowing what to do. Ephiny decided to find out if what Xena had said was true, although if it was, it would explain quite a bit.

"Gabrielle," she asked, getting the girl's attention, "Xenon's with the Centaurs right now, otherwise you could see him." When the bard looked confused, Ephiny added, "My son?" as a hint.

"Oh!" said Gabrielle. "Congratulations."

That was clearly not the response Ephiny had been looking for. Gabrielle acted as though Xenon was a newborn, or at the very least, someone she didn't know, much less her own nephew.

"Come on," she sighed, "let's get back to the village." Six Amazons escorted their Queen into the village, five utterly lost, and one very worried. When they arrived, many more Amazons bowed before Gabrielle, who had the good grace to stand there and look completely bewildered.

Ephiny waved the women on, and they left, reluctantly. Leading the Queen to her hut, she was not totally surprised to find Xena there, waiting for them. Gabrielle immediately left Ephiny's side to go to Xena's. Standing a small distance behind her, she kept her head down, and was eerily quiet.

"I'm sorry, Xena," apologized the Regent, the first to speak.

"Yeah, me, too," said Xena. "This is just harder than I thought."

"Tell me about it," offered Ephiny, not sure she wanted to know everything, but hoping it would help the warrior.

"Not much to tell, really," said Xena, ever the conversationalist. "We were fighting off some bandits, and she got hit in the head. The next day, she wakes up thinking she's my slave, with no memory whatsoever of the past for years, save the day I stopped Draco from enslaving her. Every once in a while she has these… episodes," Xena supplied, for lack of a better word, "where she is suddenly in terrible pain. It's enough to drive her to her knees, but when it's over, she remembers something."

Ephiny rose an eyebrow at her. "So you're saying that each time she has one of those episodes, she regains some of her memory?" Xena nodded. "How many has she had so far?"

Xena thought for a moment. "Four," she responded.

"And what has she remembered?" questioned the Regent, noticing that Gabrielle hadn't moved from her station behind the warrior, despite the fact that two women were discussing her life right in front of her.

_Very un-Gabrielle-like,_ thought Ephiny.

"So far, she's remembered the time in the Thessilian temple, where she died," said Xena, ticking the items off on her fingers as she went. "The time she hit me with a pitchfork. Long story," she added, when Ephiny looked confused.

"She remembers when she was high on henbane," a small chuckle here, "the time Cal-, the time I was hit with the poison dart and died," she said, almost slipping and saying the 'C' word, Callisto. "And, when we returned Ulysses to Ithaca," she finished, folding her five fingers she was holding up into a fist, and dropping it into her lap.

"That's five," noted Ephiny.

Xena shrugged. "I guess she can remember more than one thing in an episode," she said. "Are you hungry?" she asked the bard, who nodded slowly. "Well, let's get something to eat, okay?" Another nod. Xena stood, and Ephiny followed the two out the door.

No more than fifteen feet away from the Regent's hut, Gabrielle collapsed to her knees, again. Xena was by her side, and two dozen Amazons suddenly appeared, all concerned, and forming a small circle around their Queen.

"Get back!" shouted Xena, and Ephiny enforced her request, ordering the women to step away. "It's all right," she said, softly, into Gabrielle's ear. "It's all right." Once again working the pressure points, Xena tried to help her friend.

_Flash…_

'They would still be alive. Kalyupus and Solan.' 'Don't you even speak his name. Because of you, my son is dead.' _Oh, Xena, I'm so sorry. I know you can never forgive me. _I love you_. Silence… I deserve this._

_Flash…_

_Xena! What are you doing? Run? Good idea, Joxer! _Thump! _Ouch! Xena, what are you doing? Why are you doing this? Pain, so much pain… Darkness…_

_Flash…_

_Oh, that's gonna hurt in the morning. A cliff? What am I doing on a cliff? Xena! No, I won't go! A kick to the head ought to do it. Oof! _I hate you! _Falling, falling…_

_Flash…_

Gabrielle heard the faintest sound of music, but couldn't make out the words, as Xena's pressure points stopped the episode, and her returning memories. She opened her eyes, and saw Xena. She was instantly afraid, for her memories told her this woman had tried to kill her, and almost succeeded - she had dragged her behind a horse till she was bloody, and then tried to throw her off a cliff! And she wanted her to believe she was _helping _her! That she was a friend! No way!

"No!" she exclaimed, jumping to her feet and standing behind Ephiny, the only one who seemed vaguely familiar. "Stay away!" she shouted.

Xena looked hurt. "Gabrielle?" she tried, standing and taking a step forward, but Gabrielle only cowered behind the Regent further.

"Go away! You tried to kill me! I hate you!" she shouted, and ran back into the Regent's hut. Ephiny looked at Xena, torn as whether to go to her Queen or her friend. With tears in her eyes, Xena strode off, leaving Ephiny to soothe the shaken Queen.

Ephiny entered her hut, and found her Queen seated in a chair, her shoulders shaking violently with sobs. "Gabrielle," said Ephiny, putting a hand on her friend's shoulder. To her surprise, the girl threw her arms around Ephiny's waist, buried her head into her stomach, and cried.

Placing a hand on Gabrielle's back, Ephiny didn't need to ask, but did anyway. "What did you remember?" she asked, causing Gabrielle to pull back.

"I was talking to her about someone named Solan," she said, and Ephiny winced. "Then, she tied me up with a whip, and dragged me behind a horse. When I came to, she was trying to throw me off a cliff. She was trying to kill me!" she exclaimed, sobs overcoming her small frame once more.

Ephiny sighed. She had to explain the entire incident with Solan, and more than likely, Hope as well. It was going to be a long day.

Xena ran, not knowing where she was going, just needing to run. To her surprise, she ended up at a temple. Artemis' temple. Sighing, she went inside. She was glad there wasn't a priestess, since she really didn't want to have to explain herself to anyone. Making sure no one was around, the warrior withdrew her sword, and placed it's tip on the floor. Kneeling, she prayed to the goddess.

"Artemis," she said, just saying what came to her mind, "you know I'm not one for praying to any god, much less in a temple, but here I am. I know most gods don't like me very much, but I'm not here for me, I'm here for your Chosen One, Gabrielle," she clarified. Sensing a presence behind her, she rose, and spun around with her sword, only to come face to face with Artemis.

The goddess was clad in a white tunic, with her brown hair flowing across her shoulders. She held in one hand her bow, and the other was placed on her hip in an impatient gesture. Her green eyes flashed.

"Mind moving that?" she asked, and Xena quickly withdrew her sword, which had been - ineffectively - and accidentally, placed in the goddess' side.

Taking a deep breath, Xena dropped to one knee, and bowed. Artemis raised an eyebrow. "What is it about my Chosen that can cause the great Warrior Princess to kneel before me?"

Xena stood, and looked the huntress in the eye. "She is ill, and I don't know how to help her," said the warrior. "She was injured in a fight, and now she's lost her memories. In order for her to remember something, she has to go through horrible pain."

"Describe it to me," ordered Artemis, although her voice was gentle.

"Well," said Xena, "the last time, we were just walking, when she suddenly dropped to her knees, and started holding her head in pain. I went to her, and tried to help her the only way I know how, by using pressure points. In a minute or so, it was over. But," the warrior added, "she remembered… she remembered the time I entered the village after Solan's death."

Artemis nodded, knowing exactly what the warrior meant. "You say she is pain when she remembers?" Xena nodded. "I know the problem: Ares."

Xena's eyes narrowed. "Ares! This is _his_ doing?" she asked, and Artemis nodded.

"Yes," said the goddess. "Ares has the power to erase memories. No one has ever regained them before," she said, thoughtfully. "I'd be willing to bet my bow that the pain Gabrielle experiences is because she is overriding his curse. She must have a strong will to do that."

Xena looked at Artemis, serious. "How do I fix it?" she asked, determined.

Artemis smiled at her, fondly. "You cannot," she said, and Xena's face fell as her heart crumbled.

"Are you saying there's no cure?"

"No, I'm saying you cannot cure her yourself," said Artemis, "as much as you'd like to, you can't. The only way for Gabrielle to regain her memories is for Ares to admit that he is to blame, and to confess why he did it. He won't do that to a mortal, only a god," explained Artemis. "Mind you," she added, "Gabrielle will remember nothing of this time, the things that occur while she had lost her memory. She will remember the fight, as you say this is what she was doing before she lost her memory, but nothing until the time Ares restores her memory."

"Help her," Xena pleaded. Artemis nodded, and turned, but before she could disappear, Xena called, "Artemis!" and she looked at the warrior questionably. "The last memory she recovered, can you… can you help her to see that I'd rather kill myself than hurt her again?"

Artemis smiled again. "You can tell her yourself. I will make it so she will listen," she offered, and Xena nodded, sheathing her sword and exiting the temple. Artemis sighed, watching the warrior, and then, in a flash of blue light, she was off in search of her low life brother, Ares.

There was a knock on the door, and Ephiny looked up. "Come in," she called, focusing her attention back on Gabrielle, who sat in the chair across from her. When she saw it was Xena, Ephiny rose from her seat.

"I'll be right back," she said, and left. Gabrielle turned around, wondering who had entered and why Ephiny had left so quickly.

When she saw Xena, her eyes widened, but she found herself unable to move. Xena drew her sword, and Gabrielle fought back the urge to bolt, until the warrior threw the weapon to the ground. Doing the same thing with her Chakram, Xena continued until she was completely disarmed of all her weapons.

Gabrielle was looking at her curiously.

"Gabrielle," said Xena, kneeling in front of the bard, to be below her, and even less of a threat, "I'm sorry. What I did to you was horrible, and I'll never forgive myself; gods know why you did. But you've got to believe me when I say that I will never, ever hurt you again. I would rather plunge my sword into my own heart than cause you pain, you've got to know that," Xena pleaded. "Please, Gabrielle. It tears me apart enough seeing you in pain. Please don't shut me out."

Gabrielle's eyes filled with tears, and, not knowing why, she threw her arms around the warrior and cried. "I'm sorry… about Solan… and Hope…" she sniffled. Xena gave her a final squeeze before pulling back.

"Gabrielle, that's in the past. It's over," she emphasized. "We were both at fault, and we've forgiven each other. How much did Ephiny tell you?" asked Xena, when the bard looked startled.

"She just told me about my daughter, Hope, and how she killed your friend, Kalyupus, and your son, Solan," said Gabrielle, still sniffling. "And how you, in your grief, tried to kill me."

"That's it?" asked Xena, when the bard was finished. The girl nodded. "There's more that Ephiny apparently doesn't know. When we went off the cliff, Solan brought us to a place called Illusia. We had to go through our pain, and our hatred, for each other, and learn to love again, before we could return home."

"Did we sing?" asked Gabrielle, and Xena nodded. "I heard singing, just a little, before my… episode was over."

"How long do you want to stay here?" asked Xena, once she was sure Gabrielle was all right, and had stopped crying, and didn't hate her.

"Not long," said Gabrielle. "It feels awkward when I don't know anyone, but they all know me," she admitted, and Xena agreed.

"All right. How about we eat something, and then we can get going?" she suggested. Gabrielle nodded, and helped Xena to her feet. Then, handing her the sword, Chakram, breast daggers, and boot daggers that had been heaped upon the floor, she watched as Xena put all her weapons where they belonged.

They walked outside the hut, and ran into Ephiny. "Are you all right?" she asked, speaking to both bard and warrior, who nodded.

"Thanks," said Xena. "We were about to get something to eat. Want to join us?" she offered, and the Regent nodded, escorting the two to the dining hall.

As Gabrielle munched happily on nut bread and grapes, Xena sipped a mug of ale, while Ephiny sat, smiling.

"I see my Queen has not forgotten her appetite," she joked, and Gabrielle looked up at Xena, confused. "Uh-oh," muttered Ephiny.

"She did, there for a while," said Xena. "But, I think she's back, now." Gabrielle shrugged, and continued eating, until her plate was spotless.

"We'll be leaving soon," the warrior announced, as she drained her glass, and Ephiny looked surprised.

"But," she protested, "you just got here, and Gabrielle -"

"Gabrielle feels a little out of place," said Xena, evenly. "We'll be leaving soon," she repeated, firmly. Ephiny just nodded, defeated.

"Come back soon, my Queen," said Ephiny. "Shall I escort you to the borders?" she offered, but Xena shook her head, and whistled for her mare. Argo came out of the stables at a trot, and ambled up to her mistress, snorting impatiently.

"Goodbye, Ephiny," said Xena, but Gabrielle said nothing, the slave overcoming her personality again, as she walked behind the warrior. Nothing was said until they were outside of Amazon Territory.

Gabrielle said, quietly, "Thank you."

Xena looked at her. "For what?" she asked, leading Argo by the reins.

"For leaving because I was uncomfortable," she said, and Xena grinned.

"No problem," she replied.

"Did you really mean that you would rather kill yourself than hurt me?" she questioned, innocently.

Xena stopped, and looked the bard in the eye, so the girl would know she was serious. "Yes," she said, honestly. "I hate what I did to you, and I never want to hurt you again."

Gabrielle smiled a little, a sight Xena hadn't realized she missed until she had been without it, and said, "Me, too." Xena offered her a small smile, and the two walked in a comfortable silence, side by side, until dark.

"We'll stop here," said Xena, choosing a nice campsite. Deciding not to hunt, she let Gabrielle unpack the bread and cheese that was left, along with some fruit that the Amazons had insisted they accept.

Gabrielle was in the process of unrolling her bedroll, when it was suddenly forgotten, as she felt a wave of pain wash over her, centering in her head. Holding her head in her hands, she was vaguely aware of Xena's comforting presence as she remembered…

_Flash…_

_What am I, crazy? Following the King of Thieves out here to the middle of nowhere? Close my eyes? Wait, that's Xena speaking! Okay, eyes closed…_

_Xena! Oh, by the Gods, I've missed you! But, you're dead! Not completely? Well, I think that's good! Oh, there's so many things I want to tell you! What do you mean, you know? Are you going to kiss me, Xena?_

'Autolycus, get your hand off my butt.' _Oh, I was kissing him! Blech! _

Gabrielle opened her eyes, and found Xena staring at her, worried. "Are you all right?" the warrior asked, concern evident on her face.

"Autolycus…" she murmured, remembering the name. "I kissed him!"

Xena cringed. How to explain this one? "Yeah," said Xena, quietly. "I had died, from internal bleeding, and was on the Other Side. Autolycus, he's a friend of ours, I used his body to get mine back, so I could be saved. Anyway, what you remembered, was this: I told him I was going to use him to speak to you, because… well, because I needed to talk to you. At first, he refused, but then he let me take over.

"I told you to close your eyes, because that was the only way you would see _me_, and not Autolycus. You did, and I was able to speak to you," said Xena, taking a deep breath to try and explain what had happened next. "You said there was a lot you wanted to tell me, but I told you I knew already. The dead can hear the thoughts of the living," she explained, and Gabrielle nodded, understanding.

"I told you I understood, and then, I was going to… well, to kiss you," said the warrior, suddenly uncomfortably hot, "but I didn't, and Autolycus took over again. He's the one who kissed you," Xena finished, clearing her throat.

Gabrielle added, "And put his hand on my butt."

Xena cracked a grin, remembering how she had responded to that. She had punched Autolycus, or rather, made him hit himself, so hard it knocked him to the ground. "Yeah," was all she said.

"Well," she said, changing the subject, "how about dinner?"

Gabrielle nodded, and began preparing the food. Xena polished her sword as the bard finished slicing the cheese. Handing the bread and cheese to the warrior on a plate, Gabrielle let Xena eat first, again. However, she did nibble on a piece of nut bread.

When Xena was finished, she sat back against a log, staring at the fire, and sipping water from the water skin.

"Is Autolycus a nice man?" asked Gabrielle, softly.

Xena nodded. "He's nice. He's the King of Thieves, but he really does have a good heart," she said.

There was a long silence. Then, Gabrielle said, out of the blue, "Are we lovers?"

Xena almost choked on the liquid. "What?" she sputtered, not sure she heard right.

"You and me," Gabrielle elaborated, unnecessarily, "are we lovers?"

"No," Xena said, looking away.

Gabrielle eyed her, curiously. "Would you like us to be?" she asked.

Xena looked Gabrielle in the eye. "I would like for you to be happy," she replied, and to her surprise, Gabrielle smiled a little.

"And you think that means 'no'?" she laughed, approaching the warrior, who shifted uneasily.

"Gabrielle…" she warned, as the bard came up behind her, and moved her hair and leather out of the way, massaging her shoulders. A quiet sound of contentment escaped the warrior's lips, as her head fell forward. The little bard's fingers were strong, and they dug deeply into the tissue, finding the sore spots and working them loose.

The warrior sat upright when she felt the softest of kisses touch her neck. "Gabrielle, stop," she said, and the bard came around to face her, looking hurt. "Listen," she said, softening her voice, and taking the bard's hands in her own, "I don't want you doing something you'll regret."

"But, it's what I want," protested the bard, leaning in for another kiss, only to have the warrior pull her head away.

"You don't know that," insisted Xena. "I won't do this to you, Gabrielle. I don't want to hurt you," she said.

Gabrielle moved to sit beside her, hands still interlocked. "And what if you're hurting me by turning me away?" she countered, and saw Xena pale slightly.

"Not fair," said the warrior, swallowing.

"Are you saying you don't want me?" asked Gabrielle, the look on her face one of true hurt.

"It's not that," said Xena.

"Then kiss me," said Gabrielle, and Xena sighed.

"Gabrielle, I -" Xena began, but was cut off when Gabrielle pressed her lips against the warrior's. The kiss was gentle, but Xena felt her lips burn as she pulled away.

"Gabrielle," said Xena, her tone even, despite the fact that she was finding it difficult to breathe, "are you sure you want this? Are you absolutely positive?"

Gabrielle nodded. "I've known since your death, mistress," said the bard. "I felt it then, and I've felt it since."

Xena smiled a little, and kissed the bard. "Anytime you want to stop, just say the word," said Xena. "I don't want to do anything you don't want me to do."

Gabrielle nodded, smiled, and pulled Xena down for another kiss. She never said a word.

The next morning, Gabrielle awoke, and was a little surprised to feel two strong arms wrapped around her stomach, holding her. Even more surprising, was the fact that she was naked.

Catching a strand of raven black hair out of the corner of her eye, Gabrielle quickly deduced that it was Xena who was holding her.

"Xena?" she asked.

"Hm?" the warrior replied, kissing her bard lightly on the cheek, too happy to notice that the bard had called her 'Xena' rather than 'mistress'.

"Why am I lying with you, and why are we both naked?" she asked. Xena's eyes snapped open and she jumped to her feet, wrapping a blanket around the front of her nude body.

"Gabrielle?" she exclaimed, realizing that her bard must have gotten her memory back.

"Did I…? Did we…?" stammered the bard, unable to get the full question out, holding a blanket over her own naked form.

Xena's mouth opened and shut a few times before any sound came out. "Yes… but," started the warrior, but she never finished. Gabrielle's eyes filled with tears, as she leapt to her feet, grabbing a blanket and her clothes as she rushed out of the campsite.

Xena threw on a shift, debating on whether or not to go after her love. Suddenly, deciding that by the look on Gabrielle's face she was not happy with the situation, Xena sank down onto the log, and just sat with her head in her hands.

_How could I have let that happen?_ Xena asked herself. _Simple,_ her mind answered, _you've loved her for so long. Yes, but, I took advantage of her. She thought she was just my slave, doing as I asked her to do. Now she'll hate me._

Minutes later, Gabrielle returned, fully clothed, tears marking her face.

"Gabrielle," said Xena, leaping to her feet, only to kneel before the bard, "I know you must hate me. Let me explain, please." To her relief, the bard nodded, and motioned that she go on.

"You were injured in a fight a few days ago, and you lost your memory. Artemis told me the only way for you to regain your memory, was for Ares to confess, since he's the one behind it. She must have gotten him to admit it, because she said you wouldn't remember anything during the time when you lost your memory. Last night, I loved you," she said, choking back a sob. "Something I've wanted to do for a very long time. You told me you wanted it, too, but I shouldn't have acted on it. I took advantage of your memory loss, and I'm sorry. I'll leave," she said, and the warrior got to her feet, turning to pack, only to be held back by a firm hand on her arm.

"I don't hate you," said a quiet voice, and Xena turned back.

"But, after what I did, and you're crying," rambled Xena, but stopped when Gabrielle held up a hand, putting two fingers to the warrior's lips.

"I'm sorry about that," apologized the bard. "I should have known that would worry you. I'm not upset about you loving me, or me loving you. You didn't take advantage of me, I have wanted it for a long time," admitted Gabrielle, blushing a little.

"Then what's wrong?" asked Xena, concerned.

"I'm sorry to say that I can't remember," said the bard, and the warrior broke out into a goofy grin.

"So, you don't hate me?" asked Xena, still apprehensive.

In response, Gabrielle gave Xena a light kiss on the cheek. "No," said Gabrielle. "If you don't mind, Xena," she said, shyly, "can we repeat last night?"

Xena shrugged, still smiling. "Sure," she said, and led the bard to the log, and sat down with her. "First, you gave me a shoulder massage…" said the warrior, and proceeded to talk her love through their first night together, as the sun shone brightly down on the two new lovers.

25


End file.
